My Search for God

I became Christian because the very basis of it was love. God kept trying to send Prophets and messages, warnings and signs, but people would not listen. People believe better when seeing things for themselves, when experiencing things for themselves. Out of love and mercy and hope that we would choose by free will, he sent his self as ‘the Son’ as an analogy for the great love he has for us, his children. To relate to us better, the ‘Son’ was born of a clean virgin, Mary, symbolizing us coming from purity. But it also shows that us, as children from a human, can be saved and that we do not need to be God to be saved. The absence of a father was a miracle, but also made it a proof that he was the Son of God, not son of man making up things. It differentiated him from everyone else.

My more recent roommate was a Christian and when we met I was still a Muslim. I used to swear up and down that I would never change-ever. With time, as I matured and became more open minded, I began to research.  I researched different religions, but focused mainly on Christianity, as it is the largest religion in the world. I was not in search for a religion of laws, rather a relationship with God and set of beliefs that would focus on that relationship.


I began to read the Bible and thought that many parts of it were similar to the Quran, especially in the Old Testament. My relative gave me a book called, "Mere Christianity" which I admit, have not really read yet-but the fact that it was given to me and that I had access to it opened my heart a little. My student would randomly talk about Christian beliefs and engage in conversation. What stopped me from actively looking into certain aspects of Christianity was the fact that I grew up thinking that things like the Trinity or Jesus dying for our sins was ridiculous and blasphemous.


I was tired of having hate and dislike of other beliefs. The strict Muslims, like my parents, encouraged a sort of arrogance of not only other religions, but others that were not practicing. Women that did not wear Niqab, were not as good as the ones that did. The ones that wore nail polish without gloves were flashing their hands. And when a woman took off her Hijab, then it was a shock! People would treat her differently as an outcast. When I left, there were women that would not even let me talk to their children (who I baby sat regularly) as if I was a monster.

I did not understand how Muslims call themselves compassionate, and state they treat others well, when they are constantly judging avoiding people who do not follow what they believe. I used my experience in grammar and read the Qur'an in Arabic. I did not want to judge my beliefs off of my family or people.